Ten Commandments

WHAT LAWS WE PROFESSIONALS OBEY !

And G-D said unto Moses, "These are my commandments to party." Moses replied, "You mean rules?" "Not exactly," G-D rumbled. And so began the initiative to form a more perfect Disc Jockey and all who followed this divine list of instructions became apostles, ever to become known as professional mobile disc jockeys.

I. Thou shalt not hire someone with CHEAP EQUIPMENT. There is a difference between home audio equipment and a professional disc jockey's broadcast hardware. Just ask, we'll be happy to tell you all about it!

II. Thou shalt hire someone LICENSED and INSURED. Professional mobile disc jockeys are entrepreneurs who are masters of their craft on a full-time basis.

III. Thou shalt come with a CONTRACT. All conditions and terms of our employ should be set into a legally binding agreement. With a written contract, there can be little mistake made in such things as choice of music, duration of event and compensation. This protects both the party planner and disc jockey.

IV. Thou shalt take PRIDE in one's ATTIRE. Just as equipment makes a difference, so does attire. A professional must have the appropriate and proper apparel at no extra charge. Now, you don't want the host of your engagement showing up in a Phantom mask and a G-String? Or, do you? Ya know, we can arrange that too, if you'd like!

V. Thou shalt offer a large MUSIC SELECTION. Any eclectic music enthusiast may have quite a selection of music but, a professional will have an entire library, enabling them to provide music for any occasion except say a KKK rally or other ugly demonstrations.

VI. Thou shalt field ANNOUNCEMENTS and REQUESTS. A professional DJ and/or Emcee can locate even the most obscure tunes at a moment's notice. Then, offer key announcements at the correct times. We can even play great practical jokes on guests such as ignoring the requests of one of the happily inebriated invites that has managed to piss off every other guest at the party.

VII. Thou shalt provide REFERENCES. An experienced, professional can provide ample references from satisfied customers. We tried to get references from people that were not totally satisfied with our services but, that really never worked because everybody loved us and had beautiful things to say. So much for objectivity.

VIII. Thou shalt understand ETIQUETTE. Ambiance must be addressed and sometimes, created. A professional must have the experience necessary to read the crowd and provide the 'right' music for the 'right' moments. You can't follow AC/DC with Celine Dion. Actually you could but, people might get really paranoid.

IX. Thou shalt always have a TIMELY ARRIVAL. Professionals always arrive at least one, to one and a half hour ahead of schedule--not only to move the equipment and set up for the event but, to field last minute changes in the event. Sometimes we'll even get to an event earlier in order to steal food from the caterers.

X. Thou shalt always have a BACK UP PLAN. In the rare event that your Disc Jockey is not able to perform at your function due to sickness or transportation issues, rest assured. Every professional has become a substitute at one time or another. There is always additional equipment available to any professional in the event of an equipment failure as well. The quality that you hire remains intact because of the high standards in our network. You might just call this commandment, the AAA clause. We are just as dependable as U.S. Postal workers---minus the propensity for violence.